


Phan Oneshots

by soundsofmymind



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-08-08 21:57:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16437569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soundsofmymind/pseuds/soundsofmymind
Summary: Just a bunch of Phan oneshots I’ve written





	Phan Oneshots

It's officially spooky week 2018. Phil and I have already filmed one video, and now it's time to film the next. 

Phil had picked the first game. It was a cheesy horror game called Granny. That game was definitely scary, but I wanted to do something different than our usual jump scare games. So, I had been reccommended this game by a girl named "Bisexual Susan". It's available on steam and was apparently made by the guy who made Crossy Road. It's essentially a psychology test that analyzes your anxieties. I think it'd make an interesting video.

"Hey Dan! Ready to film?" Phil pokes his head into my room. He looks so cute. He's wearing this purple and black sweater that's slightly too big for him. His hair is styled in a quiff, a fairly recent change that I love. I almost cancel filming to cuddle on the couch with him. But, I know we have to get the video done for spooky week.

"Yep." I say with a smile. He walks over and sits on my lap.

"What game did you pick?" Phil asks. He wraps his arms around my neck.

I explain the concept to him quickly. "Just a warning: it's gonna be a bit more personal and scary than what we usually do." I say.

"I can take it, I'm a tough guy." I laugh at the last part, causing Phil to pout. "I aaaaammmmm." He whines. I just laugh again.

"You're such a dork," I give him a peck on the lips. "But you're my dork." I conclude. He rolls his eyes fondly before pulling me into a proper kiss. I smile into it and wrap my arms securely around his waist. His tongue pokes shyly against my lips and I part them just enough for his tongue to slip into my mouth. I let out a little moan, Phil giggles and pulls away. I whimper at the loss of contact. 

"I love you Dan." He says. I kiss his nose once more.

"I love you too, and we should start filming." 

We head to the gaming room to start filming. We set up the camera and get the game up on the computer. Phil pulls a stuffed snake (which I had named Timmy during pinof 6) into his lap for no reason and said the intro.

"Hello? DanAndPhilGAMES... psychologists."

After we dimmed the lights I pulled on some glasses.

"Wait, how do we know you are the psychologist in this situation." Phil says, even though we planned that he'd be the one taking the test earlier this week. 

"Because, when put under pressure, you're not very good at reading."

"I could be the psycholo-I think we need to toss a coin or something." Phil counters. "We'll toss the snake!" He proudly holds up Timmy. "Let's toss the snake!" I begrudgingly agree. Phil says he'll be the top of the snake. As soon as he says it we both realize our audience will take it as another #philtops joke (though it's actually not a joke). Phil flips the snake anyway and it lands top up, meaning Phil has to take the quiz. 

"I don't like being analyzed." He whines, and pulls his sweater over his hands to create sweater paws. It takes all my willpower to just continue banting and not peck his adorable little lips. I read out the text as it pops up on the screen:

This test is designed to help you understand your deepest anxieties and the underlying causes of your darkest fears.

For each question, select the response which gives the best and most truthful answer.

At the end of the examination you will receive your analysis and a certificate of participation.

"Do I not get a prize at the end?" He looks directly at me whilst saying that. Cheeky fucker. He's trying to get me to kiss him. Well, he's gonna have to try harder than that. I cover up perfectly and we continue the test.

Please note that typically only 13% of participants are able to  
complete the test due to the onset of total body paralysis or unanticipated cardiac arrest, resulting in death.

I ham it up for the audience and try to scare Phil by adding suspense to the moment. I add in some humor to lighten the mood by referencing that scary South Park sex edit Phil and I found on the internet once. The melodic sound of Phil's laughter reassures me. The quiz is asking us if we wish to continue.

"Now Phil, it's just a quiz. But you are very fragile and sensitive," And adorable, I add in my thoughts. "Do you wish to continue?" 

"Yeah." Phil says, sealing his fate. I have him click the answer himself. He clicks and flinches away, but it was too quick so the computer didn't register it. I internally squeal at his adorableness but urge him to try again. The quiz begins with some calibration questions.

***

If there are three oranges and I take away two,   
how many are left?

O Five

O Infinity

O One

Before answering the question, Phil looks at me to make a juggling joke. We are squeezed together with barely an inch of space between us. My gaze goes everywhere but his lips to prevent myself from thinking of... nevermind.

Phil chooses One.

2 questions later, the calibration is complete. 

And now the real test begins.

It's raining outside and you're walking in bare feet.  
You take one step forward and crush a snail between your toes.

You feel:

O Happy

O Guilty

O Jealous

O Disgusted

O Nothing

"I think I'd feel guilty." Phil, ever the innocent bean. I find it quite funny that they put jealous as an option. I take this opportunity to tease Phil a bit. I muster up my deepest voice.

"I'd feel," I begin, looking at Phil. We turn and look at the camera at the same time.

"Jealous." We speak in unison. We bant a bit with me making a depricating joke and Phil making an innuendo. I begin recounting the story of how I moved snails out of the path to save them. Phil listens with an expression that can only be described as fondness. 

"Awwww snail savior." He says and I jump in immediately with another statement to prevent myself from blushing at the praise. We move on to the next question.

***

A couple of questions later, the screen glitches as part of the game and it jump scares Phil a bit.

"That was just the glitch. It's ok," I reassure Phil. The next question shows an image of what appears to be a clown. Phil says the image made him uneasy and that worries me just a bit. When I next speak I can hear a bit of worry seep through. I don't know why this is getting to me. The internet is right, I am a bit overprotective. But you would be too if your boyfriend was freaking Phil Lester; the most innocent being on the planet. 

***

Phil jumps at the sound of static.

"Shhhhh..." He whispers, interrupting my tangent.

"What?"

"I just don't trust it," He whispers again.

"You're trying to make me jump." I say, knowing full well what he's trying to do.

"No I'm not." He looks at me with a suspicious smile on his face. He's speaking in a strange (yet surprisingly sexy) voice.

"Yeah you are." 

"I'm not."

"Why is he sayin shush," I ask the audience, though they can't respond. 

"Cause it was changing." He says using the same hushed voice.

"What is that voice he's doing right now," I look to the audience then back at Phil, unable to keep the smile off of my face as I tease my boyfriend. Phil tries to speak but is cut off by his own giggles. "Shut up you idiot." I say fondly. How'd I get so lucky with this one?

***

Poetry is the most intelligent form of artistic expression

"I mean it's pretty intelligent. Is it the most? Whatever. It's fine. It's perfectly valid though. Do we have to rank art by how intelligent it is?" I mumble. I turn to look at Phil and am left almost speechless. I realized that we don't have to rank art by intelligence. Phil isn't the smartest in some aspects but he sure as hell is art. The way his blue eyes sparkle whenever he's excited or empowered; his ginger roots giving way to jet black strands of hair; his milky white skin that's soft to the touch; the way his cheeks glow a rosy pink whenever he's flustered; even the curve of his lips is art.

Eventually I can't take it anymore and I lean over to give Phil a peck on the lips. He gasps in surprise. When I pull away, I see that his cheeks have the aforementioned rosy glow.

"Dan!" He squeaks. "We're recording!!" I smirk and lean back in my seat, looking straight at the camera.

"We'll edit it out later."

***

"I feel like the door is unlocked." Phil says. I know he has a genuine fear of home invasion so it's no surprise that the quiz is getting to him.

"Do you want to go check if the door's unlocked?" I ask. It comes out sounding like an annoyed statement but I really want Phil to check if it'd make him feel safer.

"No I think I just need to stay here and, trust my fear." He says.

"If the quiz is genuinely making you afraid that I've left the door unlocked, that's quite funny." Which it is in a way. But it's also making me a bit worried.

***

There was a sudden loud noise from the game. Phil jumps at the sound. He's a lot more easily scared than I am.

Are you okay? I mouth to Phil.

"No. I don't know why it's unnerving me so much."

"Hey, I'm here so you don't have to be afraid." I say.

"I'm not afraid, I'm just unnerved. I'm a tough guy!!" Phil then proceeds to hold up his 'guns' causing me to chuckle fondly. 

***

Your recent answers indicate that you are exhibiting a fight-or-flight  
response and may be at risk of an Acute Stress Reaction.

"I'm acute. And I'm having a stress reaction all the time." I say.

"Stop it." Phil says. I turn to face him, raising my eyebrow cheekily.

"Why should I? Lester." Phil just rolls his eyes and continues doing the breathing exercises that the quiz said he should do. I kiss him on the cheek and he gasps, messing up his breathing. I smile triumphantly and turn to the camera, still feeling Phil's glare on my face. 

***

"Everyone with me watching, breathe in, and VRAH!" Phil turns to try to jump scare me. I don't even flinch. 

"You ruined it," I say. He lets out a noise of defeat. "Now we're going to have to wait another 5 seconds before I can-"

"Wait!" Phil interrupts and we just resume breathing. 

***

Phil becomes distracted by a noise in our apartment and I use the opportunity to mess with him. 

"BOO!!" I yell and Phil jumps and grabs his heart. I receive a small smack in the arm for my antics. God he's adorable.

***

Once we're done filming, we cuddle on the couch. This is one of my favorite things to do. Snuggling with Phil and watch scary movies. He fits into my arms like a puzzle piece. I know that sounds cliche, but it's true. He feels like the missing piece of me, and I love him.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah I didn't know how to end this one lol  
> But yeah after DnP uploaded I had a weird inspiration to write this.  
> Dan was so caring and cautious of Phil and I thought it was so adorable and I loved it  
> So, enjoy whatever this is. I'm sorry it's not my best but I enjoyed writing it  
> So... peace out people scouts ✌️  
> I didn't say Girl or Boy Scouts cause we don't assume gender here


End file.
